Sometimes, the words we say to others don't really tell all that they are meant to. And in retrospect, we wish we had had the courage to say exactly what we meant. Most times, what we mean to say, would put us in a vulnerable, "tell-all", circumstance ... which in turn opens us to a possible "rejection" or fearing the non-recipiency of truth/vulnerability in return from the other.
The other night, I said, "It's probably a good thing because I don't know that I could ever share my bed with anyone again...I've gotten used to having it all to myself."
What I meant to say ... My bed is a very sacred place. And it will wait for the day that you find the inhibition of crawling into it with me ... knowing it is there, that all we have experienced to date has led us to the place where there is no more holding back ... the place, where you can find no more good excuses out of concern for me ... the place, where "complication" unravels and honors simplicity in it's most magnificent form.
I guess I was trying to say, my bed waits for you to work through the voices in your head. I already know that I don't want to be alone in my bed for the rest of my life. And I already know that I have been given the gift of whom that someone is.
Today, I realize the joy/virtue of patience. The silent, until spoken, S L O W process of gaining reward of someone else's love. Today, I realize the importance of sitting back and letting another come into their own realization of knowing and belief; and, working through on their own that there truly are "gifts" out there that come in a timing we may never have expected or even thought to look for. Today, I cherish every moment spent with him ... and completely believe in future days where I don't wake alone in my sacred bed. Today, I already treasure what is to come. As slow, as necessary.
~Complicated, me~ :-D
About Me

- Terri Anderson O'Byrne
- A Scorpio, I am. Sign of water/sexuality. Emotion. Myers/Briggs personality test resulted INTF (Introvert, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving) 100% accurate! Only 1% of the world pop. has this personality type; the other 99% has trouble relating to INTF's! I am extremely introverted, can handle noise/crowds for exactly 1 hour before retreating to the quiet or my music somewhere. Oddly enough, I am drawn to customer service. I know these things: I love who I am! I love emotion. I am vulnerable. I care deeply. I love. And I love deeply. I will wait it out for return. I long to be loved. My children are my world. Nature is my solace, my constant, my peace. I hear each bird's tweet, adore shapes in the clouds, share the moon with everyone I know, smile at the song of my windchimes, wonder at the growth of a flower, drive to chase sunsets, enjoy a great storm, relax fully when the ocean is outside my door. My favorite word is dance. Dance represents how I strive to live..to a beat that allows my body and soul to release in rhythm. I am over 50 now. Dance with me ... while there is still time!
No comments:
Post a Comment