In regards to my bed...

Sometimes, the words we say to others don't really tell all that they are meant to.  And in retrospect, we wish we had had the courage to say exactly what we meant.  Most times, what we mean to say, would put us in a vulnerable, "tell-all", circumstance ... which in turn opens us to a possible "rejection" or fearing the non-recipiency of truth/vulnerability in return from the other.

The other night, I said, "It's probably a good thing because I don't know that I could ever share my bed with anyone again...I've gotten used to having it all to myself."

What I meant to say ... My bed is a very sacred place.  And it will wait for the day that you find the inhibition of crawling into it with me ... knowing it is there, that all we have experienced to date has led us to the place where there is no more holding back ... the place, where you can find no more good excuses out of concern for me ... the place, where "complication" unravels and honors simplicity in it's most magnificent form.

I guess I was trying to say, my bed waits for you to work through the voices in your head.  I already know that I don't want to be alone in my bed for the rest of my life.  And I already know that I have been given the gift of whom that someone is.

Today, I realize the joy/virtue of patience.  The silent, until spoken, S L O W process of gaining reward of someone else's love.  Today, I realize the importance of sitting back and letting another come into their own realization of knowing and belief; and, working through on their own that there truly are "gifts" out there that come in a timing we may never have expected or even thought to look for.  Today, I cherish every moment spent with him ... and completely believe in future days where I don't wake alone in my sacred bed.  Today, I already treasure what is to come.  As slow, as necessary.  

~Complicated, me~  :-D